Artist recipes for hotels and motels, the first by John Cage (from Empty Words: Writings '73 to '78) and the second from Laurie Anderson (Stories from the Nerve Bible).
Holiday Inn: Room 135.
Four cups of ground walnuts;
4 cups of flour;
12 tablespoons of sugar;
2 2/3 cups of butter;
4 teaspoons of vanilla.
Form into circa 125 small balls.
Bake at 350 degrees in motel oven.
Now back to Room 135.
Roll in 1 pound of powdered sugar.
Nut balls.
Hotel Hot Dogs
This recipe is highly recommended if you’re dining alone in a hotel room in Germany. It is fast, easy, and the perfect end to a day of back-to-back press interviews.
UTENSILS:
• 1 lamp
• pocket knife
• wire strippers
INGREDIENTS:
• 2 bratwurst (Oscar Meyers will also do)
Unwrap the bratwurst and place on bedside table. Unplug the floor lamp. Using the pocket knife, cut the lamp cord approximately 3 feet from the plug. With the wire strippers, peel the insulation from the cord, leaving about 10 inches of exposed wire at the end. Then, just plug it in!
Cook until the bratwurst is crispy on the outside (approximately 2 seconds).*
Make sure the cooking time doesn’t exceed 3 seconds since the meat will explode at very high temperatures. Then just relax and enjoy! This dish is excellent accompanied by a glass of cool tap water.
*In the U.S. or other territories where 110 is used, add 2 additional seconds to cooking time.
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